Character flaws…

Flawed characters make for interesting reading; however you might not want them as friends. And apparently, it seems, I’m a flawed character.

I received an email today from someone I hadn’t heard from in years. I knew this woman briefly during a bumpy period in my life (and hers, from what I recall) and we’d get together some evenings after work to share some tea and commiserate about life’s frustrations. At some point we lost touch and I took it as part of the ebb and flow of life and relationships.

Over the years I’ve come to terms with many things, and in the process I’ve come to understand that I’m not what you’d term a people person. While I’ve learned to play nice with the other kids, in the long run I am, for the most part, a solitary person. I’ve also figured out that in the end I’m not always the friend people want me to be. What surprised me about this morning’s letter was the resentment this person held all these years later. I do hope she has found more supportive friends in that time, people who could be there for her the way she needed and it seems I was not.

I tried to send her a more personal email; however on each attempt I receive the message:
The message could not be sent because one of the recipients was rejected by the server. The rejected e-mail address was ‘’. Protocol: SMTP, Server Response: ‘550 5.7.1 No such recipient; will not relay’, Port: 25, Secure(SSL): No, Server Error: 550, Error Number: 0x800CCC79

I have changed the actual email address as not to post it on the internet. And I’m writing this here because I know this individual reads this blog. For years my traffic stats have shown nearly constant visits from a specific reader:

Verizon Internet Services ( TAPPAN [Edit Label]
United States Tappan, New York, United States, 635 returning visits

These visits, which came on average once or twice a day, usually lasted only a few minutes. I’d often wondered who Tappan was, as I have several acquaintances from that area. But this morning I saw a string of visits from Tappan spanning over 40 minutes time, shortly thereafter received the email and made the connection. What I’m trying to understand is if someone isn’t the person you want them to be, move on and open your life to find someone who can be there for you the way you deserve.

Again, I tried to respond more personally but my emails have bounced.


  1. Just for the record, she’ll never be happy. You could lay her a golden egg and she’d find a crack in it.

    And I like your flaws just the way they are!

    • So this morning I’m glancing at my traffic, oh, and sure enough Tappan was on my blog last night, and I see a spike of hits from the Netherlands. Then I see your comments and realize it’s you! Tappan, however, has not made any further contact.

  2. Interesting blog…usually don’t comment on other’s blogs but it seems you’re the aggressor here and your comments amount to cyber bullying, among other things…

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